Someone Like You.

All stories here are posted under different names than those of the actual author to protect identity. If you would like to publish your story, please email me at katiesunbeam@gmail.com.

Emily’s Story:

I am a size 10/12 with love handles, a curvy waist and big hips and I love my body! I am no where near what society deems “perfect,” but I think I’m perfect the way I am. I haven’t always felt this way about how I look. Once I hit puberty, all of the sudden I had a huge chest and curves that I did not use to have. It was a hard adjustment and I felt awkward in my own skin for a long time. Sometimes I didn’t want to go out because I didn’t like the way my clothes fit or how I looked and swimming was completely out of the question, unless I had a swim skirt or shorts. It was definitely a process to get to how I feel now but I am happy with who I am and what I look like.

One of the ways I grew to feel comfortable in my own skin was to surround myself with positive people who accept me for who I am. I choose not to let people make me feel bad. It is hard not to let negative comments get you down and I think it’s okay to feel sad about it for a few moments but don’t dwell on it- move on! People say mean things sometimes, and it’s not okay but it doesn’t do any good to keep thinking about a mean comment. It’s important to remember that when someone tries to put you down, usually they don’t feel good about themselves. So don’t let what an insecure person says affect how you feel about yourself. They are figuring things out too.

I’ve also grown to love my body by taking care of myself and being more aware of my health. I eat healthier but I enjoy what I eat and I let myself have treats every so often. I also exercise and I do things that I enjoy like hiking and rock climbing. My goal isn’t to lose weight, it is too feel comfortable and be healthy and through that I’ve become proud of my body. I still have some days where I just want to wear a moo moo because I’ve eaten too much and my tummy hangs out a little over my pants. And if I do eat too much, I don’t beat myself up about it because I know I’m human and I know I love chocolate! I let myself enjoy what I’ve eaten, but I also commit to having a better eating day the next day. I also don’t let myself compare my body to others- because we all know that does not help. And, I don’t put up pictures of skinny girls by the fridge to “motivate” myself, that only makes me feel bad for eating that bowl of ice cream at 10 o’clock at night.

I also let myself feel pretty. I check myself out it the mirror. Sometimes I even let myself think someone else is checking me out! I don’t think it’s vain, it’s appreciating what I have. I can see my cellulite and know that even some of my “skinniest” friends have it too, everyone does! It’s part of me and I’m okay with it. I love who I am and what I have. It’s not always easy, and every day I have to work on how I see myself but it’s worth it.

Samantha’s Story: I never really struggled with self esteem until I was 14. I started to struggle because I was being judged so harshly by my coaches. They wanted perfection and I would spend endless amounts of time trying to be their perfect image. Finally after enduring major surgery I discovered that no one is perfect. This might sound obvious but, until I had gone through major surgery I realized that no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t please them. They wanted me to be something that wasn’t possible for my body to achieve. After that realization, I found a different coach who built my self esteem and helped me realize that I had potential. My coach saw my talent and helped me see it myself. Finding your self esteem is really difficult when you have someone always tearing it down. I know, I’ve been there, and it isn’t easy. Through time and maturity we learn how to build self esteem without the help of others and that is when the struggle is finally over. When this happens, you will be able to find true happiness within yourself!

Jane’s Story: As of now, I feel self confident and happy.  I think it is a result of a few things: 1. Not comparing myself with others – you have to face the truth – there is ALWAYS going to be someone smarter or prettier or talented than you.  That doesn’t mean you give up on yourself, but that you are content with being who YOU are.  I think we all compare ourselves with others from time to time – it’s just naturally something that we tend to do, so it takes practice to get out of that habit.  We just have to stop comparing ourselves and be happy with who we are and strive to be our own personal best.  2. I spent my time doing uplifting activities – ballroom dance helped me a lot.  It was good for me to be more social and interact with other youth my age.  It doesn’t have to be dance though – just try something new, or keep doing what you love to do.  I think staying active and social can really help.  3. I feel the most comfortable and happy when I am around people that love me for who I am.  Having goods friends is so important.  Don’t spend any time with a “friend” that puts you down or is critical of you.  That is not how friends should really treat you.  A true friend loves you unconditionally and supports you in your goals.

Courtney’s Story-

The two things that I’ve struggled with relating to my self-esteem has been my weight and my self-worth.

I’ve always been athletic, which is great because I have a larger frame and am built to do that kind of stuff; broad shoulders and until now (I’m 19 years old) I’ve never really had hips or a curve, I’ve just been straight down from my shoulders to my “hips” like a guy.  But as I’ve grown up over the years I’ve come to accept that I CAN change the way I look to some extent.  I can work out and control my weight, but that’s it.  My “broadness” or lack of curves is the way it is, and I’m okay with that. J

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-day Saints and because of this WHO I am and WHERE I came from and am going has not been a mystery to me.  With this, I KNOW that my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me and accept me for who I am (though I should always be improving), but I’ve still had a problem of just BELIEVING that I am someone of worth to someone (particularly guys).  I do not have any bad or traumatizing experiences with males to cause this inadequacy, it just happened when I set standards on different things I would allow myself to do… and when it came time to do these things I choked.  Which made me feel like I was the “lonely duck”, when in reality it was my insecurity and fear of trying these new things and being bad at them that was the problem, not all the other factors.